My Pointe of View

My thoughts on God, Life, and Dance

Expectant Hope

Written By: jamieu - Dec• 31•12

It is New Year’s Eve and like most people I have spent the day reflecting on 2012. As I did, I found myself conflicted. I am so blessed. I have a wonderful family, a roof over my head and food to eat. That is more than many have in this world. I have seen some of my biggest dreams come true this year and I have also had to accept the letting go of others (even if it is only for a time).

One thing that I have been struggling with over this year (and really the one before it as well….) is a general sense of restlessness. God has been working in my life in so many ways yet I feel impatient. A few years ago I was bursting at the seams with anticipation. Ready to take the world by storm, feeling like all the promises God had spoken to my heart were about to come to pass. I felt like I had waited so long and everything in my life seemed to be building to a great climax. And then….it all changed. I entered into yet another season of waiting. Slowly I felt God asking me to let go of so many things. I realize now that I was putting my hope and dependence on those things instead of Him. No person, organization, home, friend, ministry, or dream can take the place of God. That seems like a given, but over this year I began to realize that I was clinging so desperately to those things because I thought that my dreams could not come true without them.

Restless, antsy, frustrated, and impatient – that is how I have felt this year. And slowly a sense of entitlement began to creep in. “I deserve this! I have waited so long! I try so hard to do everything right God, what more do you want of me!” This has been the ongoing battle in my head for quite some time. Deep inside me there is this fire that burns. It wants to go and make a difference for the Kingdom of God. It wants so desperately to take this brief breath of life that I have and make it count. It dreams of a partnership with a man who shares my passion and vision. All good things, God things, and yet I wait, trying to tame my flesh and lay down my life daily.

I have never been pregnant but I hear that it has its ups and downs to say the least. You are excited, scared, sick, tired, happy, sad, and a plethora of other emotions. You have a little dream inside of your belly. It is a good dream, and yet you wait. There is nothing that you can do but wait, wait for it to grow and mature. You wonder whether it will be a boy or a girl, will it have your eyes, what will its personality be like? But all the wondering does not make the time move quicker. As the months pass your little dream begins to grow and you are bursting with anticipation! But with that eagerness there comes discomfort and restlessness. There are sleepless nights, uncomfortable symptoms, and a wait that at times seems never ending. And then comes the REALLY hard part!

I have read this scripture many times before, but tonight I read it in the Message translation and it spoke to me in a new way.

Romans 8:22-25

 All around us we observe a pregnant creation. The difficult times of pain throughout the world are simply birth pangs. But it’s not only around us; it’s within us. The Spirit of God is arousing us within. We’re also feeling the birth pangs. These sterile and barren bodies of ours are yearning for full deliverance. That is why waiting does not diminish us, any more than waiting diminishes a pregnant mother. We are enlarged in the waiting. We, of course, don’t see what is enlarging us. But the longer we wait, the larger we become, and the more joyful our expectancy.

 Even though a pregnant woman experiences a lot of pain, it never diminishes the expectant hope that she has. Sometimes the waiting on our dreams feels unbearably long, it is uncomfortable and painful, but we can’t lose our hope! God is faithful, He will complete what He has started! Who am I to say when I am ready for all that is growing in me? My prayer for this year is that I would use my waiting time productively, continuing to grow in God and walk in obedience. But mostly I want to continue to walk in expectant hope and not cave under the frustration of the waiting. Whatever comes in 2013 – the joys and challenges, I am so grateful for a God who loves me enough to make me wait – who wants me to be the very best that I can be (and who puts up with me!). Letting go is not giving up! Blessings to you all in this new year of adventures!

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  1. Best wishes!Your blog is very good!

  2. online says:

    The subsequent time I read a weblog, I hope that it doesnt disappoint me as a lot as this one. I mean, I do know it was my choice to read, but I truly thought youd have something fascinating to say. All I hear is a bunch of whining about something that you could possibly repair when you werent too busy searching for attention.

    • jamieu says:

      I just saw this comment – I have a bad habit of not checking for them. I am sorry that you did not receive anything from this blog. I just wanted to clarify a few things. Part of the point of this message was that my attitude was in a bad place. I was feeling entitled and God put me in my place. As for searching for attention (it is not like I live in the delusion that thousands of people read what I write – haha I assume only a handful of my FB friends do)- my words are only ever meant to encourage others through the experiences that I have had. I am very human and FAR not perfect. – I am not looking for pity or encouragement from posting blogs -I just like being real and sharing from my life. Blessings -J

  3. What’s up, just wanted to mention, I enjoyed this blog post. It was helpful. Keep on posting!

  4. Hi there, just wanted to say, I liked this blog post. It was helpful. Keep on posting!

  5. Alan Willis says:

    Really great post Jamie. I especially like the part of the verse that says “we are enlarged in the waiting” That’s a beautiful picture of what’s going on in our souls as we believe God to complete the good works that He has begun in us.

  6. Michele Green Williams says:

    BEAUTIFULLY-WRITTEN, this and all the others! You are so very talented in so many ways, and paired with a heart for God, you are UNSTOPPABLE!!! What a great role model for my children, and for ALL of your students! <3

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